I . . . am scared of how you will react, please don’t freak out. I just hope you don’t answer me to harshly. I’m in love with you.
I know that we’re both girls, and you probably don’t go for girls and all but . . .
**** . . . look i just can’t stand it anymore i’m dying inside not knowing how you feel. I’m pretty sure you’ll reject me, but i can’t live not knowing anymore.
I’ve always been in love with you, from that day we were on the stage in the cafeteria in St. Paul and i accidentally touched your leg. I knew that i liked you, and that i liked you as more than a “friend”. But i was scared, nervous, anxious and i didn’t want to tell you. So i forced myself to have crushes on the boys, but in the back of my mind i always, always thought of you.
I thought of telling you over the summer but i lost my phone in Houston and thought of it as a sign that i shouldn’t tell you. But recently i . . . i had a dream about you. Now you’re in my head all the freaking time and i can’t freaking take it anymore! I thought going to this new school and all, that i’d get over you! But nothings changed and now i’m thinking about you more than ever, and i just want to know that you’re okay, that you’re safe, and that even going through this we can still be friends. Just sitting together and talking about music, and people who annoy us, me being with you and laughing along with you at your dark humor.
I miss you so much, so its frustrating, and depressing knowing the possibility of being rejected. Even worse if you then just leave my life forever. Doing that would be so much more painful than you telling me that you’re not interested in me like that, but you’ll still remain my friend. But i just hope you do know that i love you, i love you so much its almost unbearable, i want to hate you, but i just can’t because i need you. I love you, i love you, i love you.
I would never ever intentionally hurt you, emotionally or physically, i would do what you asked of me. . . i would always be there for you with an undying loyalty brighter than the sun.
Juli, i would take a bullet for you, but i know you don’t feel the same. You’ve told me before when we were both at St. Paul that you wouldn’t give your life for anyone, or ever trust them fully. I’m fine with that but i want you to know how i feel about you. . .
I think you’re beautiful, you’re hair, you’re eyes, you’re body
You’re so intelligent, and funny, i know you like to act tough and sometimes you are kind of scary, but i know that you can be very compassionate and that even though you say you don’t, you do care about some people.
I haven’t told anyone we know about my feelings for you, so if i ever get the courage and do send this to you, no one else knows.
Ha ****, do you even use this email address anymore? Or am i just stirring more **** around in my head and making myself crazier. . .
Who can tell anymore right?
I want to hold you, hug you, cuddle with you, i just want you.
But are you interested in girls or boys? Or anyone for that matter?
All the years I’ve known you, you haven’t once told me you had a crush on anyone, or even found someone physically/ sexually appealing. So what is your preference? Is it possible you could like me back? Do you already have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Or . . . do you just not like anyone in that way? What are your feelings for me?
I’m not that great of a person, you’ve known me long enough to see that, but even if you don’t like me back please still include me in your life. All i really want is to see you happy. But i still want to see you.
God i probably sound super creepy . . .
I just really really like you, and i want you to like me too.
So what do you all think of it?